My
dear colleague,
It
is a long time since I have sent you news of myself; but I do not think you
will have imagined that I was dead. Death is only for common people. It is a
fact, nevertheless, that I am no longer on earth. Where I am I have only
discovered a very short time ago. For we are both of the opinion that, if one
can measure what one is talking about and express it in numbers, which
constitute the sole reality, then one has some knowledge of one's
subject.
my
Dear
coUntess,
It
is
a
long
time
since
I
Have
sent
you
news
of
myself;
But
I
do
Not
think
you
will
have
thought
It
possible
that
I
was
dead.
death
is
only
For
common
people.
it
iZ-
a
fact
nevertheless,
that
I
am
no
longer
on
earth.
where
I
am
I
have
only
discovered
ah
very
short
time
ago.
for
we
are
both
of
the
opinion
that,
If
one
can
Measure
What
one
is
talking
about
&
express
it
in
numbers,
which
constitutes
the
soul
reality,
Then
one
has
Some
command
of
one's
object.
Now,
up to the present moment I knew myself to be elsewhere than on earth,
in the same way that I know that quartz is situated elsewhere, in the realm of
hardness, and less honorably so, than the ruby; the ruby elsewhere than the
diamond; the diamond than the posterior callosities of Bosse-de-Nage; and
their thirty-two skinfolds – more numerous than his teeth, if one includes the
wisdom teeth – than the prose of Latent Obscure.
Now
up
to
this
moment
I
knew
myself
to
be
eZzowhere
than
on
earth,
in
the
same
way
That
I
know
that
concrete
is
replaced
Espeare,
in
the
functions
of
weakness,
and
less
respectfully,
thAn
the
ziricorn;
the
ziricorn
Espeare
than
the
rhinestone;
the
rhinestone
than
the
posterior
mineral
pasties
of
ass-face-carnage,
AND
their
thirty-two
skin
fields
–
more
in
number
than
his
teeth,
If
one
accounts
the
intelligible
teeth
–
than
the
writing
of
EZRA
POUND.
"But
was I elsewhere in terms of date or of position, before or to the side, after
or nearer? I was in that place where one finds oneself after having left time
and space: the infinite eternal, Sir.
"But
was
I
eZzowhere
by
Measure
of
occasion
oR
of
condition,
before
oR
to
the
side,
after
oR
near
oR?
I
was
in
That
place
where
one
fOUND
oneself
after
Having
left
time
&
space:
the
absolute
infinite,
desire.
"It
was natural that, having lost my books, my skiff of metallic cloth, the
society of Bosse-de-Nage and Monsieur René-lsidore Panmuphle, bailiff, my
senses, the earth, and those two old Kantian aspects of thought, I should
suffer the same anguish of isolation as a residual molecule several
centimeters distant from the others in a good modern vacuum of Messrs. Tait
and Dewar. And, even then, perhaps the molecule knows that it is several
centimeters away! For one single centimeter, the only valid sign for me of
space, being measurable and a means of measuring, and for the mean solar
second, in terms of which the heart of my terrestrial body beat - for these
things I would have given my soul, Sir, despite the usefulness to me of this
commodity in informing you of these curiosities.
"it
was
reasonable
that,
having
Miss
placed
my
books,
my
HiNdenburg
of
silver
paper,
the
Society
of
ass-face-carnage
and
Mr.
Sylvére
iZed oR
Panda
Mute,
ball!if,
my
senses,
the
earth,
&
Those
two
olD
Cretin
Particular
's)
of
thought,
I
should
suffer
The
same
deadly
iZe Ulain tioN
as
a
left
over
MODULE
some
fractions
of an inch
away
From
the
others
in
the
mongolian
empty
lyUm
of
MissErs
taut
and
dowar.
anD,
even
then,
Perhaps,
the
MODULE
knows
that
it
is
some
fractions
of an inch
away!
four
one
single
fraction
of an inch,
the
only
sure
sign
for
meboDy
of
space,
being
Memorable
&
a
means
of
MeasureariNg,
and
for
the
mean
star
second,
by
Measure
of
which
the
heart
of
my
earthly
body
Heat
–
foR
these
things
I
would
have
given
my
soul,
Ers,
in
the
face
of
the
practical
use
to
me
Of
this
cOmmerce
in
communicating
these
curious
words
to
You.
"The
body is a more necessary vehicle because it supports one's clothes, and
through clothes one's pockets. I had left in one of my pockets by mistake my
centimeter, an authentic copy in brass of the traditional standard, more
portable than the earth or even the terrestrial quadrant, which permits the
wandering and posthumous souls of interplanetary savants to concern themselves
no further with this old globe, nor even with C.G.S., as far as measurements
of size are concerned, thanks to MM. Méchain and Delambre.
"The
body
is
À
more
nnecessary
carriage
because
its
wearing
one's
old
rags,
and
through
Those
rags
one's
hiding-place.
I
had
left
in
one
of
My
hiding-Places
by
mistake
My
inch,
a
true
copy
in
gold
of
The
normal
size,
more
suitable
foR
carrying
than
the
earth
or
even
The
larger
earthly
area,
which
permits
the
marching
and
Postliving
souls
of
the
disembodied
intelligence
tO
think
no
fUrther
of
this
olD
world,
Nor
even
with
see.
g,
seconds.
as
foR
as
Operations
of
size
Proceedeth,
Thanks
to—Mrs.Ers
mechanges
and
delayblame.
"As
for my mean solar second, were I to have remained on the earth I still could
not have been certain of retaining it safely and of being able to measure time
validly through its medium.
"as
foR
My
mean
star
second,
were
I
To
have
remained
on
The
earth
I
still
could
Not
Have
been
certain
of
having
retained
It
carefully
anD
of
being
table
tO
Measure
time
perfectly
through
its
organ.
"If
in the course of a few million years I have not terminated my pataphysical
studies, it is certain that the period of the earth's rotation around its axis
and of its revolution around the sun will both be very different from what
they are now. A good watch, which I would have had running all this time,
would have cost me an exorbitant price, and, in any case, I do not perform
secular experiments, have nothing but contempt for continuity, and consider it
more esthetic to keep Time itself in my pocket, or the unity of time, which is
its snapshot.
"If
in
The
course
of
a
few
thousand
thousand
years
I
have
not
finished
my
pataphysical
iZschniz,
it
is
certain
that
the
times
of
The
earth
's)
rotation
around
its
vertical
line
and
of
its
Equinox
from
the
prison
will
both
"be"
very
different
from
what
they
are
now.
A
good
timepiece,
which
I
would
have
had
running
all
this
time,
would
have
costume
an
exceedingly
great
Price,
and,
in
any case,
I
do not
Perform
lay
experiments,
have
nothing
But
disgust
four
continuous movement,
and
think
it
more
Peautiful
tO
Keep
time
itself
in
My
hiding-place,
or
The
cock‑0
of
time,
which
is
its
snaps
shotgun.
"For these reasons, I possessed a vibrator better arranged for permanence and
for absolute accuracy than the hairspring of a chronometer, one whose period
of vibration would have retained the same value over a certain number of
million years with an error of less than 1:1,000. A tuning fork. Its period
had been carefully determined, before I embarked in the skiff, according to
your instructions, by our colleague Professor Macleod, in terms of mean solar
seconds, with the prongs of the tuning fork being pointed successively upward,
downward and toward the horizon, in order to eliminate the least effect of
terrestrial gravity.
"following
this
logic,
I
owned
a
pinhead
more
peRfect
in
credibility
and
for
absolute
precision
thAn
The
antennae
of
a
timepiece,
one
whose
quivering
reflex
would have
retained
The
same
precision
over
A
certain
number
of
thousand
thousand
years
with
A
terror
of
less
thAn
1
to
1
thousand.
a
sound
tool.
its
time
had
been
carefully
determined,
before
I
took
off
in
the
HiNdenburg,
ccorDing
to
your
introductions,
by
our
coUntess
Marjorie
Perloff,
by
Measure
of
mean
star
seconds,
with
The
mandibles
of
The
sound
tool
being
disappointed
By
succession
upweRed,
downweRed,
and
toward
the
skyline,
in
order
to
cancels
the
least
effect
of
earthly
consequence.
"I no longer had even my tuning fork. Imagine the perplexity of a man outside
time and space, who has lost his watch, and his measuring rod, and his tuning
fork. I believe, Sir, that it is indeed this state which constitutes
death.
I
No
longer
had
even
my
sound
fuck.
picture
the
ecteD
Eelings
of
a
man
out
side
time
AND
space,
Who
has
Miss
placed
his
timepiece,
and
his
MeasureariNg
lobolier,
and
his
sound
fuck.
I
believe,
Ers,
that
it
is
indeed
this
State
which
constitutes
death.
"But I suddenly remembered your teachings and my own previous experiments.
Since I was simply NOWHERE, or SOMEWHERE, which is the same thing, I found a
substance with which to make a piece of glass, having met various demons,
including the Sorting Demon of Maxwell, who succeeded in grouping particular
types of movement in one continuous widespread liquid (what you call small
elastic solids or molecules): a substance as plentiful as one could desire, in
the shape of silicate of aluminum. I have engraved the lines and lit the two
candles, albeit with a little time and perseverance, having had to work
without even the aid of flint implements. I have seen the two rows of
spectrums, and the yellow spectrum has returned my centimeter to me by virtue
of the figure
But
I
suddenly
RememberecteD
your
Operations
and
My
own
Early
experiments.
since
I
was
simply
NOWhere,
or
SomeWhere,
which
is
the
same
thing,
I
found
a
substance
with
which
to
make
Ah
piece
of
glass,
having
met
various Ghosts,
Counting
"Invisible
and Invincible Pawn,"
who
was
first
to
line
up
the
Particular
way's)
of
movement
in
one
continuous
foRspread
wet
oil
(what
you
call
tiny
impractical
things
or
elements):
A
substance
as
commonplace
as
one
could
desire,
in
the
shape
of
Cybersuds
of
steel.
I
Have
cut
the
lines
and
given
fire
tO
the
two
cancels,
though
be
It
with
a
little
time
anD
meticulousness,
Having
had
tO
Work
without
even
the
help
of
a
spark
tool.
I
have
seen
the
-2
series
of
lights,
&
the
yellow
series
has
given
my
inch
tO
me
by
means
of
The
figure
5.892
x 10-5.56
five
point
hate
nine
tO
times
steN
to
the
contrary
five
point
five
sex
"Now that we are happy and comfortable, and on dry land as is my atavistic
habit, since I carry on me the one thousand millionth part of a quarter of the
earth's circumference, which is more honorable than being attached to the
surface of the globe by attraction, permit me, I pray, to note a few
impressions for you.
"Now
that
We
are
Delighted
and
concupiscent,
and
on
waterless
Newfoundland
as
is
my
Ancient
inhabitant,
since
I
bear
on
meboDy
The
one
thousand
thousand-thousandaZeth
part
of
A
forth
of
the
earthly
circumstances,
which
iZ
more
Memorable
thaN
being
transfixed
to
The
surface
of
The
Analogies
By
metonymy,
permits
me,
I
praying,
tO
notes
a
few
swim
Prussia
for
You.
"Eternity appears to me in the image of an immobile ether, which consequently
is not luminiferous. I would describe luminiferous ether as circularly mobile
and perishable. And I deduce from Aristotle (Treatise on the Heavens) that it
is appropriate to write:
"The
infinite
disappears
to
me
in
the
image
of
a
motionless
Whether,
which
thUs
isn't
luminousforus.
I
would
explAins
luminousforus
Whether
AS
personally
able
to
move
and
deadly.
and
I
reason
from
hairs-tautall
(SEMIOTEXT(e)
on
the
heaven's))
that
it
is
A
Property
tO
write:
ETHERNITY.
Whether
reality.
"Luminiferous ether together with all material particles, which I can easily
distinguish - my astral body having good pataphysical eyes - possesses the
form, at first sight, of a system of rigid links joined together, and having
rapidly rotating flywheels pivoted on some of the links. Thus it fulfils
exactly the mathematical ideal worked out by Navier, Poisson, and Cauchy.
Furthermore, it constitutes an elastic solid capable of determining the
magnetic rotation of the plane of polarization of light discovered by Faraday.
At my posthumous leisure I shall arrange it to have zero moment of momentum as
a whole and to reduce it to the state of a mere spring balance.
"luminousforus
Whether
tOgether
with
All
Particular
matter,
which
I
Can
easily
tell
apart
–
meboDy
of
stars
having
good
pataphysical
eyes
–
takes
The
form,
At
first
glance,
of
A
system
of
stiff
joints
ecteD
tOgether,
and
Having
rapidly
churning
fly
Eelings
in
rotation
around
some
of
the
joints.
thUs
it
fully
fills
exactly
peRfect
meticulousness worked
out
by
Nam June Paik,
Fu
Manchu,
and
Miss
Crutwell.
fUrthermore
It
constitutes
a
practical
thing
effectI've
at
Executing
the
magical
rotation
of
the
plane
of
PolitryiZation
of
light
discovered
by
the
"flash-eyed
mother."
At
my
after
death
pleasure
I
shall
arranged
it
to
have
no
moment
of
POWER
as
a
whole
and
tO
diminish
it
to
the
State
of
a
merely
ping-pong
language.
"Moreover, I am of the opinion that one could reduce considerably the
complexity of this spring balance or this luminiferous ether by substituting
for the linked gyrostats various systems of circulation of liquids of infinite
volume through perforations in infinitely small solids.
"moreover,
I
am
of
the
opinion
That
one
could
diminish
plenty
The
complicity
of
this
ping-pong
language
or
this
luminousforus
Whether
by
substituteg
for
The
transfixed
orgy
State
various
structures
of
motion
of
cupids
of
infinite
size
through
Operations
in
absolutely
tiny
pinheads.
"It will lose none of its qualities as a result of these modifications. Ether
has always appeared to me, to the touch, to be as elastic as jelly and
yielding under pressure like Scottish shoemakers' wax."
"it
will
loose
none
of
its
Property dUe
to
these
changes.
Whether
has
always
disappeared
to
. . . . . . . me, to . . . . . . .
this
long
hand,
tO
be
as
impractical
As
jellyfish
and
giving
way
under
paddling
Like
American
"SuRe
mAke Ers
grease."