“Fiction Allows Us to Look at Ourselves with Brutal Candor”: An Interview with Marguerite Welch & Her Collaborator

Mindbuck Media Book Publicity sat down with Marguerite Welch and IG, her collaborator and inspiration for the fictional character, Mia. We talked about bridging cultural and racial gaps, self-reflection through fiction, white saviorism, challenging our own assumptions, and the new understandings that collaborating opened up for them.

While Borrowed Child is a work of fiction, it is drawn from some true-life experiences. Did you, at any point, consider writing it as nonfiction?

[MW] I did consider writing it as non-fiction, because I thought making it fiction would dilute the power of the story. However, my primary goal was to protect the identity of my collaborator, IG, the character “Mia,” whom at the time was concerned that “Diego” might seek to harm her if he found out about the book.

What concerns do you have, if any, about readers assuming Mia is a real person, reading her as a direct portrait rather than a fictional character shaped from your experience?

[IG] I feel scared because I worry a lot of people might judge me. At the same time, I also feel comfortable with the idea that a lot of people are going to know that these things do actually happen, even if they’re not aware of them. A lot of girls like me do things that they get judged for, but there is usually a reason that they do it. That’s what I want readers to understand.

[MW] Well, we all sometimes make bad decisions, or our lives go off the rails for some reason. It’s the human condition.

[IG] Yes. I kind of just wanted to be open about it and for other girls to understand that they might make mistakes, but it’s never too late to change their paths and just do the right thing.

[MW] Yes, that’s right and I think that certainly comes across in the book.

It absolutely does. And I think using these real-life experiences to inform fiction often makes it easier to access emotional truths. I was wondering, did you find this to be true in this case? If so, what emotional truths revealed themselves throughout the writing process?

[MW] Oh yes. It’s much easier to write about the shortcomings of a fictional character than to confess one’s own or those of a dear friend or relative. Fiction gives one cover to probe more deeply some of the disturbing aspects of our shared humanity and look at ourselves with brutal candor. In fact, only when I began to write Helen’s story did I realize how controlling, narrow-minded and self-righteous I was myself and, in fact, perhaps even a bit racist.

I admire your self-reflection and willingness to look at yourself with brutal candor, as you say. This book unflinchingly takes on white saviorism, particularly as a motivation for transracial “adoption.” Can you talk about what led you to explore this topic in your novel?

[MW] Believing that we can “save” the people we love, or that they in fact need saving, seems to be a common human frailty, especially when we are, as I am, so arrogant to believe that we know best. From giving unsolicited advice to actively taking the reins, some of us just can’t resist benevolent muddling in other people’s lives. Providing a temporary home for IG stemmed from genuine love and concern for her wellbeing, but not giving her the space to mold her own future was, in retrospect, more about my needs than hers. Regret over that was the impetus of the book.

This book, from Helen’s point of view, is largely shaped by the loss of her son. Mia, a teen she mentors, becomes a sort of “surrogate” for the daughter she never had. How did you work to ensure that Mia remains a fully realized and developed character instead of being flattened as a replacement for Helen’s son?

[MW] The character of Mia was largely shaped by my long relationship with IG that started when she was in 8th grade and continued through high school to the present. Much like a parent I watched her grow into a multifaceted, complex personality, make mistakes, and finally mature into the lovely, caring, happy young woman she is today. However, the process of writing this book together deepened that understanding and respect which I hope is reflected in the details of her character on the page.

What was your experience like collaborating on this project? What surprised you?

[IG] At first it was a little scary because I didn’t know what MW would think about all the things that I told her, but then she made me feel more comfortable, like she would understand. At first, I was nervous but then, as we went on, I just let myself relax and just talk to her.

[MW] Yes, at first, I was nervous too, because I didn’t want to seem like I was prying or putting IG in an awkward position, but then I think we just kind of trusted our friendship and, as the interviews went on, (and we did a lot, for almost a year) it just got easier and more natural. I learned so much more about her life and environment than I ever did when she lived with us, because I asked questions, and she felt comfortable enough to be totally honest.

I can imagine that sort of honesty and transparency allowed you two to bond in an entirely new way. This collaboration represents power differences across race, class, and culture. I’m curious, what did you find most difficult about bridging this gap — in experience, understanding, and beyond?

[IG] I was afraid at first that MW wouldn’t understand me, because I think there are a lot of differences in the Hispanic community, but I think we figured it out as time went by. I feel like there are a lot of things that happen in our culture and the Hispanic community that sometimes a lot of people are not aware of, but she was pretty good at understanding, even though it was a little hard for me to explain some things.

[MW] Yes, when we first met, I knew nothing about IG’s culture and community, and I’m still ignorant, but we work on it. I think, because we’ve known each other for such a long time, we have learned a lot about each other, but obviously there is still a lot to learn. I’m just so grateful for our relationship. It has been such a gift to me, and it has opened my eyes to her life and background which, in some ways, is a whole different world.

I love that. And in the book, it seems Mia is feeling that tension of entering and living in a different world. One moment has really stuck with me, when Mia says that she loved Ms. Helen and Mr. Don but always felt like she was in a play they had written: “I had to remember my lines, always trying to fit in with their friends, their world, their way of life.” What do you want readers to understand about Mia’s reliance on a performative persona for survival?

[MW] So much misunderstanding between humans arises because we hear each other’s words but not their true meanings. We understand what we want to understand — not what is really being expressed. All life is a performance to a certain extent. We are all playing a role or sometimes several, depending on the circumstance.

If I had asked more questions, challenged more of my own assumptions, and really listened, Mia might have felt more “seen” and truly loved in a way that would have precluded her from looking for love and verification from such a harmful source.

Was there anything you two felt particularly strongly that you wanted to be included in this story and, if so, what and why?

[MW] I was always worried about IG’s privacy and not revealing her real name. That’s why I made it a novel, but I hope the reader understands that this is a novel based on a true story. I hope you feel comfortable with that mix, IG.

[IG] Yes, I do feel comfortable. I’m on social media a lot, and a lot of people post about all sorts of things like politics or beauty or whatever, and when I read the comments, sometimes they receive a lot of hate, but the creator doesn’t stop making their content because of it. They keep making it because their followers are interested and sometimes feel inspired — whether they feel hopeful about the economy or excited about make-up tips. So, I’m kind of comfortable with this book because I know it will maybe help a lot of girls like me.

Well, I think it’s a wonderful story of resilience, mutual respect, and love that, from my point of view, demonstrates how two people, so completely different in every single way, could become so close over the years. I really wanted to get our story out there in the hopes that other would be inspired by it.

[IG] Yes, I think there are lot of lessons you can learn from the book. If we can do it and we can understand each other, I feel like other people can do it as well.

[MW] Yes, definitely.

[IG] It’s just a matter of communication. I often tell my mom and my family members when they have problems, it’s just so easy to sit down and talk about it.

[MW] Yes, and that’s really what we all need to do in the smallest sense with our families and friends, and in the larger sense of our public face.

[IG] Yes, I agree.

[MW] It’s been such a pleasure working on this book with you, IG, and it’s such a treat to be sitting here with you chatting about the finished product and actually holding it in our hands.

[IG] I know. It’s finally here.

[MW] Yes, it’s finally here.

“Fiction Allows Us to Look at Ourselves with Brutal Candor”: An Interview with Marguerite Welch &… was originally published in ANMLY on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.